An entire new chapter of my life has been unfolding these past couple months, but it could not actually begin until the high school chapter came to a close. Two months ago I was hired by drchrono, a company that develops an electronic healthcare platform based out of Mountain View, California. In three weeks from today I finally move to the Bay Area to begin working there full-time. I am delighted to be part of something bigger than just me. This job is not about me or my bi-monthly paychecks, it is about increasing efficiency in healthcare so that doctors can focus on their patients rather than paperwork or billing. I think this might be a plot twist in the story of my life. A twist that thrusts me out of the dark shadows of depression and into an enlightened world of selfless pursuits, and hopefully, happiness.
Part of me fears being happy, as strange as that might sound. Depression has interweaved itself into my identity, almost as though my slogan has become, "Hi, I'm Austin, and I have depression." The reality, however distorted it may be, is that I don't want to be depressed, but that I also can't imagine myself any other way. Sure, I have my happy moments, in fact, probably the majority of the time I feel at least decent. Strangely, the 40% of the time that I feel depressed seems to entirely overshadow the 60% of the time that I don't; so much so that I have a hard time imagining the percentage of happy moments ever increasing. That said, that percentage has to increase. The life I've lived for the past four years simply is not sustainable in the long-term. Luckily for me, a new chapter has begun, and as each page is turned, I am no longer bound by the previous one.
No comments:
Post a Comment